The numbers game

20 Jan

I was messing around with the blog (colors, etc) and realized that this blogging “thing” isn’t as easy as I thought. So I ask anyone who reads this in its first phases to be patient with a new blogger…but I already know enough to decide that I will put an interesting site, fashion/style-related on each post.

Now that I’ve announced this minor detail, I’d like to talk about the power of a number. There seems to be so much importance placed on number. Age (post-30, pre-21, the big 4-0) makes some people crazy. One’s salary (it’s not enough, look at how much she makes, why don’t I make more?) can bring about doubts and downright belief that she isn’t worth as much as so-and-so due to a smaller salary.

There are so many other things that people judge by number, quantity. How many, how few, how much, how little, how long, how short? But my personal battle with numbers remains the same: how many pounds = what size clothes.

When a woman loses weight it is hard to not focus on those numbers. There’s a euphoria as you see them go down consistently, week by week. As they go down, there is a positive correlation to your clothing size. This slowly and sweetly diminishes until you find yourself at your own personal “size heaven.” Mine was a single digit number. The first time, I saw that single digit number I committed to memory (without even knowing it) the number of pounds that corresponded to this. I vowed (again without knowing I had done so) that those numbers would never, ever, ever change.

Well, I don’t have to tell anyone that nothing stays the same. And those numbers have done some shifting, up, down, flat, up, down, flat…etc. Small increments, mind you; ones powered by the normal ups and downs of living a life. Eating out more than normal, changes in jobs, fluctuations in workout schedule, and just plain water weight. But as those numbers went up or down, it felt like my emotional stability did too.

As the years have progressed, and I’ve kept the weight off for four, five, and now six years, I work hard at not putting so much “weight” in those numbers. Keep the scale in the closet, use my beautiful wool trousers or my new high-waisted jeans to properly monitor my weight. Likewise, I’m trying to embrace an upcoming milestone birthday. I’m learning to be okay with that W2. I’m doing my best to stop counting, adding, subtracting, and letting this kindergarten-level math dictate how I feel that day.

I do my best.

It’s just a number.

My current favorite site:

Why: Free shipping both ways lets me order one size up or down to see what fits best. Better chances of getting lower prices. Great distraction from work. I love saying Zappos.

Zovig, CallaStyle


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