Archive | January, 2008

QUESTION:Closet Pain

30 Jan

I got this question: “What does one do with a collection of nice pants that fit several years ago? Is there any going back? Are there any effective tactics for dealing with the remorse of seeing those pants every morning???”

My answer is this:  if they haven’t fit in several years, chances are, without a true dedication to get back into them, they may not fit. And that’s A-OKAY. Over time, our lives change and so do our bodies.  And they go bigger and smaller. But rather than being haunted over these pants that don’t fit, give them to an organization like Dress for Success and revel in the fact that you get to buy new clothes!  The most important thing is to remember that it’s sooooo not about what fits and doesn’t.  We can find clothes to fit and make us look HOT in any size (and I know you – you’re hot!).  It’s more about just accepting how things have changed and being okay with it.

I want you to be okay with the changes and not torture yourself every time you open your closet.

There are plenty of things in life that cause pain – pants shouldn’t be one of them. 

Don’t judge me…okay, maybe just a little

30 Jan

Let’s face it–people judge. For the most part, it’s not a malicious thing.  It’s really an age-old survival mechanism that’s adapted to a newer, more civilized way of life. Back in the day, it was about survival. Today, it’s about who you want to be around, talk to, invest your time in, trust and be trusted by.  But we’re all subject to it, myself included. And we all do it, myself included.

One of the first things we judge is the appearance of others. It’s so important to remember that a woman’s appearance speaks volumes about her. It can communicate vivaciousness, a subdued quality, creativity, or logic and organization. All of these things are good and true. There is a message I do so hate to see communicated: that a woman doesn’t care about herself. Faded black from head to toe, an ill-fitting outfit (to big, too small), , outdated, ripped or torn–these attributes in our clothing can tell the world, “Don’t look at me – I don’t care enough.”

I worked with a woman who clearly had smarts and a good heart, but she came in daily appearing disheveled and slovenly. This robbed her of commanding her colleague’s attention, an impactful presence and charisma. Instead, it compelled people to question her and look at her out of curiosity. And who knows, in the long run, this may even rob her of the chance to win a promotion, gain a client, make a new friend, or countless other opportunities. We’re busy people and only have so much time to get to know others.  We choose the people we connect with by our eyes, first.

What I want for myself and for my clients is that we paint the best, most favorable picture of ourselves others without saying a word. Win a colleague’s trust, gain a person’s respect, invite a conversation with a new person without speaking. Instead, let your appearance do some talking for you. Make that first, indelible impression long-lasting. Let your self-respect and personality shine through, everyday through your clothes. It’s in there – let’s show it off.

Favorite Site: WeLoveColors.com.  This is the place for stockings and hosiery. Don’t be scared by the rainbow of colors. Even a pair of simple black tights is a good buy on this site.  The tights are thick, durable, and opaque. And, for those daring you can experiment with every color in the rainbow.  For the more subtle in the group, black, brown and gray are good, solid basics.

–Zovig, Calla Style

The numbers game

20 Jan

I was messing around with the blog (colors, etc) and realized that this blogging “thing” isn’t as easy as I thought. So I ask anyone who reads this in its first phases to be patient with a new blogger…but I already know enough to decide that I will put an interesting site, fashion/style-related on each post.

Now that I’ve announced this minor detail, I’d like to talk about the power of a number. There seems to be so much importance placed on number. Age (post-30, pre-21, the big 4-0) makes some people crazy. One’s salary (it’s not enough, look at how much she makes, why don’t I make more?) can bring about doubts and downright belief that she isn’t worth as much as so-and-so due to a smaller salary.

There are so many other things that people judge by number, quantity. How many, how few, how much, how little, how long, how short? But my personal battle with numbers remains the same: how many pounds = what size clothes.

When a woman loses weight it is hard to not focus on those numbers. There’s a euphoria as you see them go down consistently, week by week. As they go down, there is a positive correlation to your clothing size. This slowly and sweetly diminishes until you find yourself at your own personal “size heaven.” Mine was a single digit number. The first time, I saw that single digit number I committed to memory (without even knowing it) the number of pounds that corresponded to this. I vowed (again without knowing I had done so) that those numbers would never, ever, ever change.

Well, I don’t have to tell anyone that nothing stays the same. And those numbers have done some shifting, up, down, flat, up, down, flat…etc. Small increments, mind you; ones powered by the normal ups and downs of living a life. Eating out more than normal, changes in jobs, fluctuations in workout schedule, and just plain water weight. But as those numbers went up or down, it felt like my emotional stability did too.

As the years have progressed, and I’ve kept the weight off for four, five, and now six years, I work hard at not putting so much “weight” in those numbers. Keep the scale in the closet, use my beautiful wool trousers or my new high-waisted jeans to properly monitor my weight. Likewise, I’m trying to embrace an upcoming milestone birthday. I’m learning to be okay with that W2. I’m doing my best to stop counting, adding, subtracting, and letting this kindergarten-level math dictate how I feel that day.

I do my best.

It’s just a number.

My current favorite site: zappos.com.

Why: Free shipping both ways lets me order one size up or down to see what fits best. Better chances of getting lower prices. Great distraction from work. I love saying Zappos.

Zovig, CallaStyle

zovig@callastyleco.com

What is Calla Style?

16 Jan

Put simply, Calla (as in Calla Lily, symbolic of magnificent beauty) Style is my image consulting business that was born from a combination of two things: my obsession of all things fashion and my calling to help other women find their own unique and personal style. 

My Target Client: Women who have lost a significant amount of weight. 

Definition of “significant” is dependant upon the woman’s size rather than pounds. Example: 20 lbs on a woman 5’10” may not be that significant, while on a woman of 5′ is drastic.  Ultimately though, it means that their bodies have been altered enough by the weight loss that they no longer understand their body shape, size, and what clothing works for them–and what style to call their own.

Having gone from a 16 to a 6, I know that it’s equally wonderful and confusing. Her mind takes time to catch up to the physical metamorphosis and along with the changes come facing issues of self-worth, self-esteem, and just general confusion.

I want to help these women see their beauty that isn’t new, but was waiting to come out all along.  Let’s find that unique style, those favorite fun clothes, that power work outfit, that sexy dress.

Life’s too short to have on a bad outfit. 

 –Zovig